Merrick’s birthday card by itsajackal
LOOKIT WHAT AMAZING FRIENDS I HAVE. <3
Sometimes I’m just minding my own business, Tumbl’n and rebloggin’ and shit, and suddenly I get to a point on my dash where I start to recognize posts and I think, “hey guys, post faster! I’ve already seen this stuff!” so I scroll to the top to refresh and I’m on page like 27 or something. Or if I haven’t been on Tumblr for a while, I don’t realize how long I’ve been scrolling until I’m up to page 63. Okay so maybe I should go downstairs and check on the soup I’m making…
If only life were as easy as saying “I’d like the best possible outcome, please” in a notes field. Unfortunately, it is not. Actually I don’t think that works for anything.
On a job application: “I’d like to be payed more than your company’s CEO, please.” DONE. Not. Really?
Maybe if you put the work in. Be exemplary. Maybe someone will take note of the effort you’ve put forth, and the outcome will indeed be favourable. Maybe not? That’s life.
But it’s sure as hell not as easy as saying “please just give me this thing” in a notes field on a form. No, that doesn’t work. Not unless you can show me why you deserve it.
Having to answer a bunch of emails to whiny bitches who don’t know how to follow directions or be polite to strangers or people who control their fate is making me want to stress eat. That, paired with my current state of bleeding lady organs, and I’m mostly inclined to stress-eat all the chocolate.
Imma be fat! Fat and sassy. And pissed off at the world. Yessss.
merrick_11 by itsajackal
I’m through being photographed; I’m having Alex draw me from here on out. He always makes me look so damn good. I swear I’m not possibly that sexy in real life.
I’m really lucky to have this guy as a friend. <3
Got a text from a friend saying he was just in a car accident. After confirming that everyone was okay, he mentioned that his ribs were sore from the seat belt. My first response was to type out, “hopefully your ribs aren’t broken and skewering your lungs, causing them to fill slowly with blood and fluid, but the pain is masked by the adrenaline of the accident. Because then you’d die in your sleep and that would suck.”
I’m an awesome friend.
Today I am thankful that Tumblr does not give one fuck about Thanksgiving. If there is a turkey—alive or dead—there is also a naked chick about to shoot or eat it. If there is a pilgrim, it is about to be burned alive by Wednesday Addams. Everything else is cats.
merrick_05 by itsajackal
It’sa me! ^_^
Motherfucking lychee martini | via Instagram instagr.am/p/Nco_5TuvDo/
Mexican chocolate icecream therapy | via Instagram instagr.am/p/NZ-qbJOvKX/
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